Boundaries Protect Your Peace

• Ground rules keep conversations focused on professional development not full blown therapy sessions.
• They protect both parties from oversharing.
• They build a genuine trusting relationship through predictable, reliable interactions.
• They prevent the mentoring relationship from becoming unbalanced or draining. Creating a space where the mentee can succeed.

The risks of poor boundaries include:

• Time commitments that get out of control
• Inappropriate sharing of personal information that damages interpersonal relationships
• Blurred lines between guidance and friendship
• Mentor burnout so you can’t be a good role model

“The most empowering thing you can do for someone is show them where the edges are, then trust them to navigate within that space and make their own decisions.”

Setting Your Ground Rules

Start with frequency and duration:

Something like:

• Set expectations clearly: Commit to starting and ending on time to show respect for this incredibly valuable relationship.
• Establish meeting structure early: Ask your mentee to send their agenda 24 hours before you meet. This keeps sessions focused on sharing knowledge and shows respect for your shared time. 
• Structure your sessions: Spend the first 10 minutes checking in, then dive into specific challenges where you can offer guidance and help them find solutions.

Then, set clear communication guidelines:

• Active participation: No multitasking during sessions.
• Open communication: Honest, direct constructive feedback only.
• Distraction-free environment: Phones away and notifications off.
• Focus on problem-solving: Rather than just venting.

Crafting Your Confidentiality Agreement

Discuss privacy in your mentoring relationship

• Can you mention your mentor-mentee relationship to others?
• Is it okay to share valuable lessons or insights anonymously in other contexts?
• What topics are completely off-limits for any sharing?

Consider setting clear agreements like

Consider your professional context

• How do you handle situations where you’re both in the same company or mentorship programme?
• What happens if confidential information could impact business decisions?

Identifying Your Limits Before They’re Tested

Common mentoring triggers include:

• Chronic lateness or last minute cancellations
• Coming unprepared or expecting you to set the entire agenda
• Requesting emergency sessions for non-emergency situations
• Over-sharing personal details unrelated to professional development
• Asking for favours beyond the scope of mentorship (like job references without proper context)

Some communication patterns can become problematic too:

• Texting or calling outside agreed upon channels
• Sharing confidential information you’ve discussed with others
• Being defensive about constructive criticismDon’t wait for problems to arise. Address potential issues proactively by having an open discussion about what works and what doesn’t for both of you.

Ask:

The Professional Mentoring Mindset

The most successful mentor-mentee relationships have these common traits:

• Clear expectations that both parties maintain
• Mutual respect for time and preparation
• Focus on helping the mentee achieve their career aspirations rather than the mentor’s need to be helpful
• Regular check-ins about how the relationship is serving both people

You’re not supposed to have all the answers

Both mentor and mentee benefit from structure:

The more you structure and boundary, the more room you create for real connection and real growth. Your boundaries aren’t walls to intimacy, they’re the base that makes mentoring real and ensures the best talent gets the guidance they need to be at their best.

Everyone Needs a Mentor. Find Yours at Mentor Lane